You know...

That your spouse will miss your nagging...
...when you want to travel overseas and he asks for a job brief for daily chores...

It’s time to leave your friends’ or relatives’ place...
...when they switch off the light..., after they have been yawning and you are still there (a relative did that...she'd pretend to accidentally switch off the light, pause & switch it back on...hahahaha)

It’s time to upgrade..., when you try to ‘teach old dog new tricks’, and it crashed... i mean, the computer.

It’s time to go to the gym, watch what you stuff into your mouth...
...when you think you can dance and when the music stops, not everything stops...

The Taxis’ True Tales

Illustration by a 7 year old who can’t wait to grow up...

You have to be mentally strong to ride in a cab here in Dubai or other emirates in UAE.

These are extracts of comments made by some taxi passengers recently:

“...I almost died of the smell really bad! it's like dead rats...”
“...2 year old son bitten by bugs in the taxi....”
“...I actually have a fear of getting in a taxi in Dubai. I have had to stop the taxi on numerous occasions to vomit by the roadside from the stench of the drivers...”

I experienced many similar smelly situation before. Once, I asked a taxi driver to stop & let me off 0.5km before my apartment, I would rather walk... I had stopped breathing for up to 40 seconds a few times during the ride...and finally I could no longer bear the stench & almost vomited. The seat was wet, the smell was like 1 thousand years old rotten eggs mixed with 1 thousand days old unwashed socks...ok, I exaggerated...maybe 100 years old. The poor driver probably did not realise & was immune to the smell, like a person who has BBO but does not know unless someone else tell him/her. That reminded me of the day my 7 year old child returning from school & said, “ Mommy, I don’t want to go to music class anymore as the teacher smell really bad...can you buy a perfume for her?”

That was only about the 5th sense, the smell. The ride itself sometimes felt like ‘Nightmare On The Elm Street’, as some drivers will speed and accelerate even more after being told not to... that’s another scary story.

Many moons ago, there were many stories or complaints from frustrated passengers on the difficulty of getting taxis here in Dubai.

Who will get a cab? From a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being ‘I do not need a cab, the cab will horn & stop for me when I am standing outside a building or by the roadside.’ And 10 being ‘I waited for many hours no cabs will stop for me, until I fainted in the heat and the ambulance took me to the hospital.’ The number 5 will be, ‘sometimes I am lucky, sometimes I am not.’ And wait a minute...there is another score, No.11, being ‘I have a better chance of being picked up by UFO.”

And on the passengers’ podium there are 3 medals, gold, silver and bronze. If the colour of the hair and skin of passenger is towards the first medal, then this passenger will score 1 on the scale.

This is the fact of life, whether it make sense or not. Most of us live on with that. No big deal.

Or perhaps it makes economic sense for the taxi drivers, as not all customers are created equal, some customers give generous tips.

Nowadays, many people have left against their will. There are less potential customers for taxis. So, regardless of podium finishes, most people happily score 1.

Recently, authorities have told taxi drivers to improve their personal hygiene. "Taxi drivers have been told to wear deodorant, not to eat with the windows closed, and to open their windows after passengers leave so that fresh air can circulate."

A passenger remarked, “...make sure the taxi drivers carry their own deodorant... once a taxi driver asked me if I have any perfume in hand...”

Usually in motorsports championship, the top 3 winners will spray Champagne from the podium, now we can all spray perfume, cologne or deodorant.

And, if you have any perfume, cologne, deodorant to spare, perhaps you can donate to the taxi drivers... sometimes, some people cannot afford to smell nice.